Article Can Be Found At http://www.wsoctv.com/news/21406096/detail.html
To contact the reporter, e-mail Ken Lemon.
Posted: 4:39 pm EDT October 23, 2009
Updated: 5:18 pm EDT October 23, 2009
GASTONIA, N.C. -- Johnny Michael Boone Jr. has been accused of and charged with a lot of things, but his brother said the charge that landed him in jail Thursday night is the most devastating for his family.
Boone, 22, is charged with misdemeanor child abuse for allegedly burning his 4-year-old son with a cigarette twice. Police said the abuse happened while Boone had a visitation with the boy at a home near Bessemer City in August.
The child's mother, Brook Herndon, said Boone didn't tell her the boy was injured, but days later the 4-year-old told his grandmother what happened.
“He said that he had gotten two burn marks from his dad on his arm,” Herndon said.
She said the boy still talks about what he said happened.
“He just says his daddy is in trouble for burning. He would like to go see him, but his daddy is in trouble,” she said.
Boone's brother said there is no way Boone could have done something like this. Herndon said Boone claimed it was an accident.
Capt. Joe Ramey of the Gaston County Police Department said months of medical investigative work revealed just the opposite.
“We know from the appearance of the burns and the depth of the burns that there seems to be some intentional acts that left those marks,” he said.
The executive director of the Children's Advocacy Center said child abuse cases are on the rise.
“I know that our economic conditions go hand in hand with the abuse rate of children,” said Laurie McClure.
She said stress at work leads to stress at home. She said Gaston County ranks ninth in the state for child abuse cases.
“Children will have emotional and physical damage for years of their life to recover,” she said.
Herndon said her son appears to be recovering fairly well.
Boone is out of jail on bond but he is not allowed to have unsupervised visitation with his son.
Investigators said they couldn’t file felony child abuse charges because those require that the child was hospitalized or suffered permanent physical injury.
So many professionals that are working hard to expose how Dr. Richard Gardner's PAS (Parent Alienation Sydnrome) junk science is putting children at risk of harm and even death, as PAS is used against a protective mother if she dares to bring up allegations of domestic violence and/or child abuse.
PAS is Dr. Richard Gardner's best used weapon against protective mothers. Gardner's PAS theory totally assumes that a mother is a hysterical and vindictive pathological liar, who's just trying to alienate the father from his child/ren. His suggestion is to basically "alienate" the children from her in order to preserve the bonds between the "alienated" father and his child/dren. Thus, thousands of children are at risk of abuse and/or even death as they are being placed in unsupervised partial or sole custodial care of abusive fathers all around the world.
Yes, there are efforts by professionals to expose the horror battered mothers and abused children are going through in family court, and shouting out to make judges accountable for using the PAS theory in what they feel is in the best interest of the child/ren. However, there is one major key element that's missing. It's destroying the myth that judges, lawyers, guardians ad litems, social workers and whoever else involved with the judge's rulings are ignorant or innocent and don't know the truth of what they are doing.
There are serious concerns when there are bold statements that our society must make judges accountable for their rulings while giving them credit for not knowing the truth. They know the truth, there is no doubt about it. The payoffs with litigations that can go on for years as the protective mother fights for her right to protect her children from the batterer/abuser, has the power to bring in thousands of dollars into the greedy pockets of all professionals that are involved in making the decisions on the what's in the best interest of children. Talk about a corrupt and illegal secure income!
In other words, this corrupt system is using protective mothers who have been battered and her children who either risk being or are being abused by the father of the children, as their money making business. And, in doing so, this system has nothing more than it's own human trafficking or extortion business going on, that's generating millions of constant revenue to line their evil hungry pockets.
It's time we wiped away the myth that our corrupt system is ignorant and or innocent of knowing the truth of what harmful and or fatal outcome Dr. Richard Gardner's PAS junk science risk for abused children. Take away the deceptive acts of ignorance and or innocents from judges, you take away their veil of lies they hide behind. When society as a whole wipes away this myth, then true implementation of accountability of judges will take place.
I invite all of you with cases to take this survey and distribute it widely.
The data collected will be used for our ongoing educational efforts with the media, the courts, and the professional public.
Sincerely,
Joyanna Silberg, Ph. D.
_______________________________________________
https://www.leadershipcouncil.org/survey/
Welcome To The Leadership Council's Child Abuse and Custody Questionnaire!
The responses on this questionnaire will be reviewed and tabulated regularly to supply information to the media, legislators and academic investigations.
The information you post is confidential and will be reviewed only by the researchers and administrators who are working with the data. It cannot be accessed by the public, and as research data is protected information.
The information from this questionnaire will be utilized for the purpose of furthering our understanding of child protection issues. Group trends will be shared, but no individual data will be shared without explicit permission from you.
Thank you very much for your efforts in helping us generate information that may protect children from abuse.
How Abusers Use The Court System To Continue to Victimize Their Partners and Children
Written by Gail Lakritz and presented by Angela Warren at the Pueblo Conference on Oct. 14, 2009
When a woman finally makes that decision to end the abuse and to flee the abusive situation, she rightfully expects that the police, her lawyers and the courts will protect her and her children from further harm. Being a member of the Sheriff's Posse, that is what I was thought. After all, the courts always operate solely by the law, correct? (Scan audience for nods of agreement) We all know that does not happen and that is why I was so confused by my litigation. When injustice reared its ugly head, it flew in the face of everything I thought our country stood for, and, as with most victims of abuse, I came to realize that the system is stacked against the victim.
Today, I want to speak to you about some of the ways the abuser will use the system to further the abuse during the litigation process. It is my hope that, by exposing these tactics, you will recognize in your peers, and perhaps yourselves, what is being done has real, and all too often, deadly consequences.
The litigation abuse begins the moment the abuser is arrested. He plays on the sympathy of the arresting officers. He will use excuses to enlist them in his game. He is, after all, a master at deception. He has years of practice. He is the person who can look you straight in the eye and lie. During the ride to the lock up, he will say things like "She is an alcoholic or a drug addict", "She is always picking on the kids" or "She takes all the money and spends it on herself and we never have enough to eat." Anything that will garner sympathy and sway them to lessen the severity of what is written in the arrest report. And, being taught to spot the antagonist of a situation as they true perpetrator of the situation, the police officer, who is generally male, will empathize with the abuser, and slant his report to favor the abuser. He will ignore what he has been taught, that the victim is most often the one who is hysterical and angry at having been attacked and side with the often calm and rational sounding architect of the situation. And the abuser has gained his first needed corner stone to further the abuse, for in the future, any calls to 911 will be met with skepticism by the police and all future reports of violence will be seen as insane acts by the actual victim.
During the booking process and his appearance for arraignment, when the victim is not present to hear what is being said to the magistrate, he will again repeat his reasons for the attack. Laying the blame on the victim. Now he has widened his circle of conspirators. Word will filter from these people to the Bailiff and on to the judge that there were "extenuating circumstances" that predicated the attack.
Now, as we all know, the key to any successful litigation is money. With money, comes the right lawyers and a venue that is considered to be the "home turf" for that lawyer. Abusers control the money, therefore, they can afford the lawyers who consider winning to be the sole measure of success, not the just application of the law.
In each court system in America, there are lawyers that are known to be the "dirty trick" lawyers. They are the ones who use often unethical and illegal means to deny the Constitutional Rights of a litigant and victim. They will look the other way, or outright encourage, the use of terror tactics against a victim. Judges and other lawyers within the local Bar Association know who these practitioners are will look the other way. In some court systems, judges will actually instruct new lawyers with "I don't care what you do in my courtroom so long as I am not investigated" leaving the avenue open for them to ply their brand of law in any manner they see fit. The idea is to win, not to be just. The abuser will seek out these lawyers, perhaps getting the name of one from a police officer or someone else in the system who just happens to be overheard talking or from another inmate in the lock up.
So now, the abuser has assembled his "dream team". The police, the dirty tricks lawyer and the complacent judge. What more could he ask for than to have swayed the system and set the victim up for further abuse? The abuser will get a slap on the wrist, be sent to Anger Management and, in some jurisdictions, have his record of abuse sealed. In Anger Management, the prep will learn new and better ways of abusing. He will learn to abuse without leaving the outward marks that would land him back in jail. He will hone his skills, through the knowledge passed on by other perpetrators attending these sessions. The things that worked for them will be shared in group in the form of "I reacted to the situation by...." You fill in the blank, as each and every one of you know the tactics, know how the pain can be caused both mentally and physically to a victim without leaving the marks or a trail of abuse.
The first thing the abuser will do after being released from jail is to widen his circle of allies. His dirty tricks lawyer has instructed him to get out in front of his victim, and being the superior liar that he is, he is only too willing to accommodate. Generally, abusers are loners, having few friends and having disassociated themselves from family. He has allowed only minimal if any contact between his victim and her family. He will suddenly become the "social butterfly" contacting people to enlist their help, always with the story of having been the victim in the situation. Neighbors that were shunned by him in the past are now become his confidants. Whispers of abuse by the victim are passed from one person to another. This serves two purposes. It provides a support system for the abuser as well as removing any hope of support for the victim.
The next step to the tried and true method of using the system to abuse is to make the victim seem insane to the system. The abuser or one of his allies will begin the relentless process of attacks that are designed to discredit. Break-ins of the home of the victim are a common means as are well placed phone calls where the abuser uses threats, such as the victim never seeing her children again. An abuser will actually enlist the help of the unwitting child, promising rewards of gifts or, if teenagers, no boundaries to live by. The abuser will reward the child for such things as removing evidence against the abuser from the victims home, lying to police or being complacent about what was witnessed in an incident. Often, no system of reward is needed. It is fear of the abuser, that places the child in the unenviable situation of having to lie. The child senses what will cause the wrath of the abuser to rise against them. If you come away from this presentation with anything, this is the one piece of information I hope you retain. The cycle of abuse is learned and continued by this one tactic alone, using the children as tools of abuse. Any person within the system who even suggests that the abuser use this tactic is guilty of nothing less than murder.
Police, having been repeatedly told that the victim is insane, will respond to such things as break-ins as a sign that the abuser is correct in his assessment of the victim. All too often, the abuser will leave something that informs the victim he was there, but at the point in time that the police are called, the victim will not know what is missing, if anything. Sometimes the victim will find veiled death threats, a picture that only the victim and her abuser knows the meaning of, a cartoon left on the computer screen, that is meant to frighten and intimidate. A tire will be slashed when her car is hidden from public view, mementos that have little or no monetary value will be missing. Reporting these incidents to the police enforce the abuser's position. And, when the victim turns to her lawyer for help, if she has one, she is told to ignore all violations of her home and person. You see, it takes two lawyers to execute a well choreographed legal Tango, and by this time, the repeated calls to the police by the victim, the well placed lies by the perpetrator, and, with the assistance of the complacent judge, her lawyer has been won over to not assist in any meaningful manner. Thus the victim is turned into the abuser and seen only as a source of possible revenue for her own lawyer who will offer little if any assistance in seeing that justice is blind, not blinded by gold.
During the actual litigation process, there will be a number of players that will be easily swayed by the events that have lead up to this process. GALs and CLRs are swayed by having contact with the abuser and his ever growing stable of allies, lawyers, police and judges. If the children are afraid of the abuser, they dare not say anything to these people that would endanger themselves. Social workers, mental health professionals, even medical doctors who rely on the system for income will not oppose the well built facade of the abuser and his well scripted theater of abuse.
At this point, I would like to see a show of hands. How many of you are judges? Please raise your hands. Keep your hands raised, please. How many are police officers? Keep your hands raised, please. How many of you are lawyers who represent abuse victims exclusively? Good, now if you could all stand up and look around. Do you recognize people from your own court systems in this room? Isn't it nice to know that some of the people who are not standing could, and I emphasis the word could, be manipulating you? Thank you, you may all be seated.
How do the dirty tricks lawyers actually manipulate? First, talk is cheap, and the dirty tricks lawyer and his client never seem to run out of voice. They will take every chance to influence the judge and the opposition lawyer if there is one, the GAL and CLR, the therapist and mental health evaluator , the social worker, shelter workers and people in the Court Clerk's office. Ex parte is common and rampant in any court system. It can't be stopped unless you, the judges, choose to stop it. A few well placed words prior to the opening of court, the happened, but planned, introduction of the abuser to you prior to proceedings so that you can see how likeable this person is and to get his side, again getting out ahead of the opposition in the litigation. Tools used to put a human face on an inhuman act of violence.
During the early stages of the litigation, the dirty tricks lawyer and an abuser will go for the "all or nothing" approach to a custody question. The abuser, and his lawyer, being confident in the groundwork they have already laid, will not present a parenting plan. They will often seek to move out of the jurisdiction, often so far away from the abused, as to effectively terminate all parental rights. The abused, on the other hand will present a generous plan which will include more time with the abuser than a court would normally mandate. The judge, being the Solomon of the court, knows he cannot split a child down the middle, will have to award temporary custody to one parent or another, and this is usually to the person who already has "possession" of the child at the time of the hearing. (make the hand sign for quotes when you say the word possession). If the victim was forced to flee without the child, or if the child happens to be visiting the abuser at the time of the hearing, guess who gets the temporary custody? Yup, the abuser.
This is the beginning of the motions process. The abuser's lawyer will file motions with the court, often filing them back to back, and always asking for contempt sanctions against the victim. If the victim is unrepresented, this confuses and terrorizes her. If she is one of the fortunate ones, one of the women who was able to afford a lawyer, and motions and subpoenas are filed on her behalf, they are ignored by the dirty tricks lawyer. In the meantime, if she is Pro Se, her filings are ignored by the clerk's office or disappear all together. It never ceases to amaze me how often victims report missing filings, even whole files of proceedings that have gone missing. I can only surmise how it could happen, all of which violate state law. When she asks for a subpoena which must go through the courts for approval, the subpoena that is received for service contains errors made by the person who entered it into the system, precluding the effectiveness of that subpoena. These errors would only be obvious to a trained lawyer, thereby giving the dirty tricks lawyer a reason to quash.
The motions process will offer more ample opportunities for the dirty tricks lawyer to ply his trade. He will mail important filings to the wrong address, often transposing the actual numbers, to prevent receipt in time for rebuttal. He will refuse to accept mail from the Pro Se and then claim that it was not sent to him. He will state a date and time verbally, but put another date and time in writing, often bolding it to attract attention to the erroneous information. He will send a copy of a minor issue in a motion, with proof of mailing, and have a second copy hand served. The problem with this is that he has actually filed two separate motions with the court, one of paramount importance and the one of minor importance. He will then have proof of two separate deliveries to the victim and state that the one hand served was in reference to the major issue while the one mailed was in reference to the minor issue. Of course, he will blame all of this on the victim. She gave me the wrong address, I never got it, she was served and I have the proof.
Depositions are an extremely useful tool for the trickster. Though most states follow the rules of the Federal Courts for deposition, tricksters do not. As all lawyers know, the only time depositions should be used is when information cannot be gotten by subpoena. The dirty tricks lawyer will force deposition to make the victim face her abuser in an environment controlled by the trickster. One deposition trick will be to inform the pro se that a date and time for a deposition of his client has been set. He will send a list of questions to be asked, and state that the deposition will be limited to these questions. This offers the opportunity to pound the Pro Se with intimidation and terrorist tactics of threats. It also forces the Pro Se into setting up a second deposition of her own. Not knowing that it is not required to submit questions in advance, the Pro Se will dutifully submit the entire list of questions to the trickster, giving him time to concoct answers that would favor him. And lest the abuser make a mistake, there is nothing to worry about. The Court Reporter in attendance is one favored by the lawyer. One only need to Google the search term "Changed Transcripts" to confirm this is a common practice. The number of hits are well in excess of 7,000,000.
Proffers are useful when it comes to the dirty tricks lawyer. It is not uncommon for them to submit Proffers to the Pro Se that are never filed with the courts. These are filled with the lies that the abuser intends on in court and are designed to see which arguments are going to be used to counteract the lies in court.
Surprise witnesses are the life blood of the trickster. No subpoena has been issued to these people to appear, but they just happen to be in the area when the court date came up. Judges have a duty to curtail the use of these convenient witnesses, but seldom do, preferring to overrule objections. Often, they are nothing more than hired guns for the defense, parroting whatever the trickster wants them to say. There is often no rebuttal for their testimony, as the Pro Se or her lawyer had no time to prepare for their appearance.
Witness tampering is blatantly illegal but used by the dirty trick lawyer and his client at every turn. All that is needed is for the potential witness to be mislead with a story of the victim being the true abuser, and after all, if they testify, they would be putting the children, and perhaps themselves, in danger. Surely, anyone in their right mind would not want to testify under these circumstances, given that few people are willing to testify in the first place. If that doesn't work, there is intimidation of the witness. Most people have something in their backgrounds they would prefer no one find out. The dirty tricks lawyer is a master at using innuendo and sources like police, family and acquaintances to find that one skeleton. If that doesn't work, there is always the avenue of the witness's employer. Innuendo can be placed in letters to the employer from the lawyer stating that this or that has never been cleared.
In his bag, the dirty trick lawyer and his client rely on the assistance of Child Protective Services. If a direct call from his client does not produce the desired response, there is always the "innocent and disconnected" third party report. These reports can vary from the upper end of sexual abuse or exploitation of the child to reports that the mother is furnishing drugs to the child to such things as a child being left alone. In one case I know of, the GAL was talked into calling CPS when a teenage boy overdosed. What the GAL forgot to report was that the 15 year old had arrived from his father's home with a plastic bag full of pills, and when the mother discovered them, he grabbed them and downed them in an attempt to get rid of the evidence. The same mother was accused of leaving the than 16 year old alone for two hours by the same GAL. Again the GAL left out a very important fact. The child was at the home of a friend.
Court orders are often altered to reflect what the attorney and abuser wants. One mother, while living here in Colorado heard a knock on her door one day. The father, who had never once exercised his visitation, had moved five years previously to Washington state. He went to the local Colorado police with an altered court order for full custody of the son, than 7 years old. No one questioned the validity of the order, in fact, the police were only too willing to help him in removing the child from the mother. She never saw her son again. She was able to locate him last year in a suburb of Seattle, but now 20, he has had it drilled into his head that she wanted nothing to do with him and had willing given him up.
If all else fails, there is always the use of Parental Alienation to fall back on. Dr. Richard Gardner, using no identifiable research and much to the consternation of all recognized authorities, first placed this Syndrome in the minds of the courts to discredit mothers and to help men save on alimony and child support payments. We are all familiar with the theory that states that the mother is toxic to the relationship between the father and his children and that the only true cure for this toxicity is to severely limit visitation or to remove it all together. Abusers and their attorneys love to use PAS. It is one of the most effective forms of abuse of the victim.
Through all the court abuse, and I have only touched on some of the verifiable things that women suffer in the courtroom, there is a continued onslaught from the abuser. Stalking, break-ins, destruction of property and threats of further harm to the victim are normal. Checks for alimony or child support that are never received are also widely reported. Harassment is an ongoing problem to the victim. Planting seeds of doubt of a mother's love for her child in the child's mind, any avenue an abuser can think of will be used.
All of this for one objective, to carry on the abuse. And, the players in the courtroom are all aiders and abettors to that abuse, whether they realize it or not. The crimes we allow these people to get away with are crimes that are punishable by law, and by each and every one of you allowing them to be predicated on victims of violence, you are taking part in those crimes.
Now, as one last thing, I would like some of you to take part in a fun little exercise to reinforce some of what you have heard here today. I would ask that every judge in the audience stand up and glace around the room. I want you to pick out a person here that you do not know and walk over to them and without saying a word, I want you to grasp their hand and shake it.
Now, again without giving this person your name, I want you to whisper in their ear the year, color and make and model of the car your closest loved one drives. Now, I want you, without giving the city or town you live in, to tell them the street address of that person. Good. You have just given someone who may be a trickster lawyer or an abuser all the information they need. You have just put your loved one in danger, possibly signing that their death warrant.
Think about it and try to have a nice day.
Authors Note: I, Gail Lakritz, grant permission for any and all parts of the above to be reproduced so long as the express purpose of the reproduction is for use in combating violence against women and children. All other reproduction of this article for any other purpose is expressly forbidden.
TO: Lawmakers, Judges, Lawyers, Guardian Ad Litems, Social Workers, Enforcement Officers and Mental Health Professionals.
MEMO: Can you say EXTORTION? I was lead to a website with a sickening article, advising fathers how to take custody of the child/ren away from the mother no matter how he has to do it, so that he can avoid paying child support! It's all out there shamelessly for the world to see. It's outright appalling at how fathers are being given this illegal and abusive advice on how to take custody away from the mother. Can't find anything wrong with the mother to justify why her children should be removed from her custodial care, just manipulate or make up anything in order to make her look bad, just so Daddy doesn't have to pay a life time of child support.
And, the child/ren's best interest means nothing?
So, it's a wonderful thing to give custody of the child/ren over to a lying, manipulating, money mongering father at the total expense of the child/ren's well being?! What a devestating reason to just dole out custody to a father. This extortion has got to be stopped. If anyone of you in power that helps these fathers get custody in this criminal manner, you are guilty of extortion right along with them. And, the destruction and blood of the child/ren will also be on your hands.
The SHAMELESS article is as follows:
Introduction
So you have a child with a soon-to-be ex-girlfriend or ex-wife, and you are wondering what is going to happen to your children. The first thing you need to be aware of is this: The laws and family court system are not set up fairly towards fathers. The laws are set up to award custody to the parent who has had the most involvement so far raising the child, which means the parent who has worked the least – this is virtually always the mother. This usually guarantees that the mother will receive custody of the child, and since child support is mandatory, that you will be paying several hundred dollars in child support to her each month. Now does this make sense?
Hell no! Why should the parent who has had the most involvement in raising the child get custody of the child? But even more importantly, why should the other parent have to pay to support that child after splitting with its mother? (As the author says later, “A fairer system would be to eliminate child support and have the parent who is fortunate enough to be awarded custody have full responsibility for providing for the children when they are with that parent.” And if we had that fairer system, you could let your bitch of an ex have custody of the damned rugrats. But since we have our current unfair system, your only recourse is to get custody of the kids so that you can save some bucks. Um, and do what’s best for your precious offspring. Yeah, that’s the ticket!
If you believe that you are the better parent, you need to read this guide and find out everything you need to know in order to have the best chance at obtaining full custody. If you choose not to get full custody of your child, not only are you in for a lifetime of emotional headaches but a lot of child support – which you will find does not all get spent on your child.
But what if you don’t believe you are the better parent? Well, fight for full custody anyway, because otherwise you’ll be paying child support, and it will go toward such things as paying the mortgage for the house your child lives in — a house that your ex will also get to live in. And that’s not fair!!!
The amount of child support you will end up paying as your child grows up is enough to buy a nice house. Let’s say you split up with your ex, and you have two children together, ages 1 and 4. The court orders you to pay $500/mth per child, based on your $45,000/year income, until the children turn 21 (some states end child support when the child turns 18, and others require it through age 21 and beyond). By the time your children are grown, you will have paid $444,000 in child support. The main cost of raising a child is childcare; outside of childcare (which ends around age 12), do you really believe that $1,000 is being spent on your two children each month?
The USDA has estimated the costs of raising a child. In a single-parent home, with a pre-taxed income of $39,1000 per year, it would be $518 a month for the one-year-old, and $558 a month for the four-year-old (it gets progressively more expensive as the kids get older). So yeah, I can really believe that $1000 a month is being spent on your two hypothetical children.
As the author notes, now that your ex is single, she’ll have to work full-time to support herself and the kids, and since she’ll make less money than you, “how does that qualify her as a better parent than you?” (Not counting the fact that all the time she’s already spent raising the kids may have contributed to her having a better relationship with them. However, if she gets custody of the children, the courts will make you pay child support. And ”the main reason why the system is set up this way?”
The government would rather have you subsidize her than pay for her going on welfare. And the feminists have convinced the lawmakers and judges in society that women shouldn’t have to work to support their children if they don’t feel like it.
So, since she now works full-time, making her no better as a parent than you are, why should the feminists force you to subsidize her, so that she doesn’t have to work to support her children? If the damn goverment would just let her go on welfare, then things would be just fine. But NOOOO! It insists that you support your kids.
But why pay child support when it’s so much cheaper to just get custody of the kids — so, let’s learn “The Rules of Winning Child Custody.”
1. Get an agressive lawyer
When you consider how much money you have to lose in child support over the years until your child turns 18 or 21, and the amount of emotional stress you will go through all of those years if your ex wins custody, and the fact that the court system is stacked against fathers, do you really think it’s wise to handle your case without the assistance of an attorney?
Sure, lawyers are expensive, but think of all the money you’ll save by not having to pay child support.
I hear you ask, “Doesn’t it actually cost money to raise kids, so that if I do get custody, I’ll still have to pay for their upkeep?”
Heck no! You can send them out to work as chimney sweeps, and actually make money on the deal!
2. Use the court system to wear down your ex
Whether you are representing yourself or have hired an attorney, keep in mind the more work you create for your ex, the more you will wear down her resolve to fight you and keep full custody of the kids. If your ex’s main reason for retaining full custody of your children is to collect free child support from you, it will vanish fast once all of the child support is going to pay her attorney to fight you in court.
And if, because of your aggressive use of the court system, she is forced to use all her child support funds to pay lawyers, will your kids suffer? Who cares. The important thing is preventing your ex from benefiting from your dough. (The best interests of the children never really come up in this piece, oddly enough.)
3. Keep the playing field uneven
If your ex does not have an attorney, consider yourself fortunate – this gives you a huge advantage. The less she knows about the legal system, the better chance you have that she will do something in the eyes of the court that will hurt her chances of getting custody. If she asks for your opinion on whether she needs an attorney, try to convince her that she does not need one and emphasize the cost to her.
In fact, tell her that lawyers charge a billion dollars an hour, so you certainly aren’t going to use one. Say that you don’t want to make this process adversarial, and that you don’t see why the two of you can’t work out a joint custody arrangement that will make things as easy as possible for the kids. … And if your ex believes you, then you and your lawyer (the most blood-thirsty one in the state) can use it as evidence that she’s mentally incompetent.
4. Harrass your ex, both in person and via the court system
When you talk to your ex, such as when you are arranging to exchange the children for your visitation, be sure to bring up issues with her raising your children that bother you. The more you point out ways she needs to change her behavior in order to be a better parent and maintain custody, the more you will bother her. You know your ex – will she eventually give in if you continue to bring up issues that bother her and continue to take her to court?
You know your ex — can you cause her to have a mental breakdown if you keep harping on what a bad mother she is, and how the courts are going to take away her kids?
5. Cause your kids to bond with people in your camp, so the judge will think twice about taking them away from their new loving relationships
What you can do: Get remarried first, then file for custody. If you have relatives nearby, pay them to baby sit so they become a big part of your child’s life.
You can dump the new wife and the paid relatives once you have custody.
6. Make it look like your kids’ lives suck
If you have not yet split up physically, try to remain in the house with the children and have your ex move out. If you have left the home, start building a case as to why the child is not doing well living at the house, attending the nearby school, etc. Do research on the school or daycare the child is attending to obtain evidence of why that particular facility is bad for your child. Information on schools can be found on the state department of education websites, and information on daycares is generally also available from the state, usually from the department responsible for welfare.
Start building a case about why the house the kid has always lived in, and the school he’s always attended, are bad for him, even though you evidentially thought they were just fine when you were with his mother.
7. Make your ex look crazy
Collect any records you have on the mental instability of your ex or her family, including medical records, and any police reports or convictions of their physical violence. Have a tape recorder handy to tape her if she has angry outbursts.
And how do you collect medical records on your ex and her family? Well, use your imagination on that one.
And try to provoke her, so you can tape her angry outburts — it will not only help your case, it’s also good, sadistic fun!
8. Make the mother of your children appear to be a shiftless, drunken, drug-crazed slut
If there is no substantial change in circumstances, you will need to provide the court with a composite of reasons why your ex is unfit. For example, a strong case might provide evidence that your ex abuses alcohol, drugs, sleeps around and goes from boyfriend to boyfriend who use drugs in front of the children, cannot maintain a stable residence, leaves the children excessively in daycare, which is a substandard daycare, smokes in the house and in the car although the children are asthmatic, cannot maintain a steady job, and frequently withholds visitation from you.
This would be a “strong case,” hint, hint. Surely you’ve got reason to believe that your ex does most of the things on that list.
9. Take a tip from Coppola’s The Conversation, and “Record All of Your Phone Conversations With Your Ex and Your Children”
Some states permit you to record phone conversations without the other party knowing. There is a list of all 50 states and their laws on recording phone calls located athttp://www.rcfp.org/taping/. If you live in one of the states where it is legal, you should start automatically recording every conversation you have with your ex or your kids when they are at her house.
And, through selective editing, you can use these conversations to prove all kinds of stuff..
10. At custody evaluation time, get a hired-gun psychology to counter the court’s feminazi social worker
When you file for a change of custody, the court will probably order a custody evaluation. These are assessments by a social worker that usually end up favoring the mother. The type of person that is attracted to this type of job are low income women with a chip on their shoulders; they are not going to be predisposed to making a determination that children should be with their fathers. [...] One way to combat these custody evaluations is to preempt them with a psychological evaluation of your own. Find a child psychologist who has a reputation for being favorable to fathers, and preferably also one on the court’s approved list of psychologists, if the court has one, and have him do a preliminary evaluation of your child.
Social workers are poor, man-hating lesbians – that’s the only reason they would think that a fine father like yourself shouldn’t have custody of your two adorable children, little, um, “Boy” and “Other Kid.”
11. Get your hired psychologist to ask your kids “leading questions” about how unfit their mom is
You may want to give the psychologist leading questions to ask your child, such as whether your child would rather live with you, if mother abuses drugs, alcohol, or smoking in front of the child, if people close to the mother abuse or sexually touch the child, etc. – whatever bad things your child has indicated to you about living with your ex.
If your child has indicated that the worst thing about living with his mother is that she makes him do his homework, then have the shrink ask him if his mother is damaging his mental health by pushing him too hard. If he’s complained about how she withheld his allowance because he didn’t clean up his room, then suggest that the psychologist ask him if she is an obsessive control freak with a cleanliness obsession. And so on.
Anyway, those are just a few of tips on “How Fathers Can Win Custody.” And do your best to win custody, because otherwise you’ll have to pay child support, and that can really put a crimp in your lifestyle. Plus, your ex, whom you hate, will have control of that money. And that’s what winning custody is all about: spiting your ex.
October 2, 2009 -- Senator Chris Dodd (D-CT), a senior member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, submitted the following statement at yesterday’s Committee hearing concerning the global costs and consequences of violence against women.
“For too long, women have gotten short shrift in development and foreign policy. Women’s rights, women’s health, and violence against women have a history as being designated and denigrated as “soft” issues,” said Dodd. “The unassailable truth, however, is that promoting women’s rights, women’s health, and women’s empowerment are not simply idealistic, moral goals. Rather, they are some of our most effective tools in achieving America’s key foreign policy goals and meeting our most difficult challenges.”
The full text of Dodd’s remarks, as prepared for delivery, is below.
“I would like to thank Chairman Kerry for holding this very important hearing today, and I would like to welcome all of our witnesses for their testimony. The subject of this hearing is a very important one to me, and I am glad to see this committee and this administration address it.
For too long, women have gotten short shrift in development and foreign policy. Women’s rights, women’s health, and violence against women have a history as being designated and denigrated as “soft” issues. The goal of ensuring that all women have access to health care, equal protection under law, and the freedom to participate and thrive in society, has too often been seen as a noble but ancillary aspect of foreign policy—not worthy of our full attention, especially at a time when we are fighting two wars, struggling with an international financial crisis, and confronting the scourge of HIV/AIDS and terrorism.
The unassailable truth, however, is that promoting women’s rights, women’s health, and women’s empowerment are not simply idealistic, moral goals, unconnected to our realpolitik foreign policy and national interests. Rather, they are some of our most effective tools in achieving America’s key foreign policy goals and meeting our most difficult challenges.
When women thrive, everyone thrives; societies are more stable, economic prosperity increases, families are stronger, maternal and child death rates fall and repressive governments lose their grip. Improving women’s and maternal health, stopping the practices of child marriage and female genital mutilation, and combating the trafficking of women and girls are not just fundamental American ideals, they are a strategic imperative.
For these reasons, I am thrilled to see that the Obama Administration has kept its promise to make the role of women central to our foreign policy. The historic creation of an Ambassador-at-Large for Women’s issues is a tremendous step forward, and I can think of no one better than Melanie Verveer to fill that role. Secretary Clinton’s efforts to bring women’s issues to the front and center of the international debate has also done much to highlight the tremendous importance of women in our foreign policy.
Throughout my career in public service, I have fought for the rights of women both at home and abroad, and I plan on joining my colleagues, once again, in supporting the International Violence Against Women Act. This is a critical piece of legislation which seeks to protect, and, more importantly, empower the world’s mothers and daughters. In the coming days, I also plan to introduce the Newborn, Child and Mother Survival Act, which will empower USAID to implement programs ensuring that mothers are healthy enough not just to survive pregnancy and labor, but also to thrive alongside their children. I would like to once again thank our witnesses for joining us today. I look forward to a productive discussion.”
Source: Senator Chris Dodd
Note From Human Rights For Abused Mothers and Children: Please write Senator Dodd to encourage him to keep fighting for our rights and to express any of your concerns. It is absolutely important for us women to make our stand and demand our right to full liberty of life and equal protection.
You can contact him at: http://dodd.senate.gov/index.php?q=node/3128
Thank you!
Battered Women, Abused Children,
and Child Custody,
A National Crisis VII:
"Now That We Know, What are We Doing About It?"
The Seventh Annual Battered Mothers
Custody Conference
January 8th, 9th, & 10th, 2010
(Friday evening, 6 p.m. - Sunday afternoon)
A brief and simple proposal form for
workshops and panel presentations is attached.
All proposals are welcome; however--
This year, we especially invite grassroots groups and other organizations
to share what they've done to combat unjust family court practices that cause harm to battered mothers and their children.
CONFERENCE HOTEL
Holiday Inn Turf
205 Wolf Road, Albany, NY
( five minutes away from Albany International Airport)
Call: 1-800-HOLIDAY or 
518-458-7250
Ask for Battered Mothers Custody Conference block
Reserve early!
Visit www.batteredmotherscustody
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